Example Story: Into the Dark

Here is a sample story, and an example of acceptable comments.

            Last Halloween, my family and I decided to forgo the typical Trick or Treating around the neighborhood, and instead, go to the Fear Factory in Morehead City.  I had heard lots of things from friends about how scary an experience it was for all of them, but I had figured that they were all just a bunch of scaredy cats.  After all, how scary could a place be that is coated in fake spider webs, with fake figures perched all around?

            That night, we set off for our half hour trip at 8:30 sharp, each of us eager for this ghoulish experience.   We had dressed in regular clothes, but we all brought an extra jacket because fall had come early that year, and there was a good chance that frost would settle on the ground before we purchased our tickets and entered the building.
            A half hour ride later, we stood in line and awaited our turn.  At first, I was excited to show everyone that I was not easily scared and this nonsense had no chance of making me scream with fear….but the longer we stood, my face turned from stoic to stone cold fear.
           The echoes of noises that emanated from the old house made the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end.  Each echoed moan and shrill scream was captured by my ears.  My heart rate climbed as I saw the ghost-like faces of the people exiting the building from their turn inside. I expected that when people exited they would be laughing and sharing their experience.  Instead, their blood-drained faces remained silent as they walked on unsteady legs toward their cars.  
           My feet were firmly planted and unwilling to move forward.  My brain kept sending me signals to flee, run…hide…before it is too late! My blood turned to ice as I neared the front of the line. And all too soon, I was “next”.   As I opened the door, I saw that there was no light to guide my way inside.  I looked back at the line of people still waiting their turn.  I think I wanted them to remember my face, in case I did not return. Taking a deep breath, I walked past the line of light and into the dark unknown of the Fear Factory.