Monday, December 7, 2015
November 17, 2015
Dear Luke the Farmer,
My mom was visiting me when I heard that your children wanted to eat me for Thanksgiving! I have a big family in
Texas and if you try to
end me, you’ll only get a feathery meal.
It will taste like hair balls. I
haven’t taken a bath in 100 days! I
smell really bad!
I have a closet full of pictures of me and my family. I have 20 pictures of my big family. I think you would love to eat my brother instead.
I am very feathery. If you try to eat me, you might find feathers in my meat.
If you eat me, you should buy a gas mask. I will stink up your house. I smell like a dead cat.
Nov. 17, 2015
Dear Mr. Jon the Farmer,
I was just taking a stroll by the fence when I heard some ducks quacking. They quacked that I’m going to be your Thanksgiving dinner! I would not be a good Thanksgiving turkey. I might have the flu. Besides, I help make eggs. I am too old and I might die before you ever start the dinner.
You see, I help make your eggs. You look like you need eggs. You might like deviled eggs or scrambled eggs. My eggs are the best! Everyone wants my big, delicious eggs.
Warning! I have the flu. You do not want to eat me. You could get violently sick. I cough and all day my raspy cough wakes up the pigs.
I am too old. I might even pass before dinner, so please let me just have a happy last few days of my life.
You really should think about eating KFC for Thanksgiving dinner. It would be much better.
Happy Thanksgiving, Mr. Jon the farmer.
By: Cole H.
Nov. 17, 2015
Dear Joe the Farmer,
I was in the coop eating when your wife said she was going to cook ME for Thanksgiving. That is when I saw my life flash before my beady, little googley eyes.
Mr. Farmer, I am disgusted with you and your wife. Have you ever looked at my characteristics, like how skinny I am? How about how little I am? How about how dirty I am?
Have you seen me do the weirdest things lately? If not, here are the things I’ve been doing. I’ve been barely eating anything. I’m also very young so I am small. Here’s the last thing. I have been taking mud baths every hour.
Mr. Joe the farmer, I think you should eat pizza this year for Thanksgiving.